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There I was sitting with four completely different individuals, with different backgrounds, with different upbringings, with different experiences, with different skin colors. It felt like the first time I came to the States, like the first time in high school, like the first try out for varsity basketball. I felt different, I saw individuals with a sense of perfection, I saw individuals bounding towards each other, yet they were different to me, to my thinking, to my experiences, to what I wanted or had to say. I felt awkward just like my first day at high school basketball. I felt like I needed to work twice as much to prove them wrong, to shut them up, to get respect, to be the best at what I do. The very same way I felt when all I wanted was to play basketball.

When you are a minority, different, and not the same as everyone around you, work becomes a challange to do better, life in general becomes a challange to do your best. My grandmother one day told me, “Son, You work hard and respect will come alone”. I will never forget those words. Now, I’m confronting it again, and there is no way to stop. I will do it for me, I will do it for my grand mother. People will see that I believe in the American dream. When you work hard, the results are way far more satisfaying than sitting with four different individuals that think they are leaving me behind.


Feeling it!

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I’m very sad that I’m not part of your daily life, very much the way You felt growing up. I have done what I have been able to, and I continue to do so. Of course, It is obvious money can not buy love. I undertand that, but deep inside my heart and soul, It is a moral, a parental, a natural, and a lovely thing to do when I have not been there for your most precious or needed moments. For that, I’m guilty as charged, and I appologized, I’m very sorry, very sorry!
Now, It is my time to see the differences: The lack of love, and The lack of acknowledgement. Hijo, It is all good, one day, I hope, and I pray to God that You will think and realize I have done a bit, just a tiny bit to help You become who You are. I love you very much, and I cry as I write this to you. I love you Anthony Joseph Anaya! I chose your name because I thought your grand father deserves it.